He brought out that Buzz Price began a practice when answering questions and reporting findings to Walt himself, and that was to start with “Yes, if…” rather than No, because…”

“No, because…” is a deal breaker. It says “there’s a brick wall that we can’t go thru, over, under or around.” Move along, there’s nothing to see here. This idea is DOA, and if it is to survive, then it must be resuscitated by someone with greater vision and/or authority. “No, because…” is negative in perspective, boxing in ideas before they’ve had a chance to run free to see what other places they may lead us. An idea that isn’t free to run cannot lead us to other ideas that we haven’t considered yet. “No, because…” feels to your team like an idea has been rejected.

“Yes, if…” is the language of possibility. It doesn’t promise the world, but it does do a good job of laying out the landscape and highlighting the obstacles that must be overcome in order to achieve the desired outcome. Once the “if…” is laid out, the entire team has the ability to visualize the challenges and begin to formulate solutions to defeat them. Costs can be calculated, risks can be assessed, and THEN decisions can be made. “Yes, if…” can lead to new avenues of thought that can not only help you reach that goal, but completely redefine and improve the entire project. I’ve personally seen a number of cases where “yes, if…” has not only lead to a good solution to the current project, but the solution has in turn benefited other projects simply because the answer improved upon a product, service or process that these other systems depend on.

And the fact is, the more creative your team is, the more they will thrive on answers that start with “yes, if…”

“Yes, if…” won’t guarantee that an action is taken or that a goal is planned, but an idea is more likely to be fully explored than if it had been delivered with a “no, because…”.

The Imagineering Workout can be found here.

This is NOT an affiliate link, because I live in the state of CT, who have made the very questionable move to charge full sales tax on all affiliate programs, and so Amazon and a whole slew of other online businesses have pulled their affiliate programs from this state.

I’m a 40 year old married father with a number of interests and hobbies and a bad habit of starting little side projects whether I have time for them or not. When push comes to shove however, spending time with my family and making sure they are taken care of is my number one concern. This responsibility is at the core of many decisions I’ve made thru the years and will continue to be for some time. I call this taking care of Me and Mine. While these decisions are usually straight forward, they are not always the best news for me, personally.

For instance, I can sit here and tell you that drawing every day is the key to continually getting better, yet my current job isn’t a ‘draw every day’ kind of job, and I’ve made the choice to give over my evenings to story time and other family activities.

I can tell you that it takes time, energy and focus to start a new venture, but any working parent will tell you that those qualities are not always the easiest to come by, especially in your off hours, and especially when it feels like everything is falling apart.

I can tell you that writing in your blog, updating your online profiles, and participating in your online communities is a great way to keep yourself top of mind to potential clients or employers, but finding the time to do that means that you are giving up something else. Ultimately, you have to decide how important all of that is to you.

For me, I work on it when I can, but ultimately it takes a back seat to taking care of Me and Mine.

A Year of Recovery

After the violent loss of her mother last year, my wife was understandably distraught, and even then had to contend with her concern over the health and well being of her youngest sister. She continued to ‘run’ her business, but her mind wasn’t in it and her heart followed closely behind. She simply needed more time for herself. Time to think. Time to pray. Time to cry. Time to take care of things that needed taking care of. This meant she needed more of my time as I’ve been doing more around the house and spending more time with our daughter so that mom could have a few more hours not being ‘mom’, because, let’s face it, mom’s don’t think about non-mom stuff very well when they are being mom.

We were living in my mother-in-law’s house, but the bank still owned the lion’s share of the mortgage, and we didn’t want to buy it, so we began planning our exit strategy. This meant many hours of my time over the summer looking for a new home, then once one was found, still more time from all of us in packing and then moving. Also, since this was her mother’s house, there was more work to do after we’d moved out than normal. I think we’re basically done over there for now. We’re still in the process of unpacking and settling in, though much of it is complete. We just finished setting my wife’s office up last weekend. The bathroom is next, and the living room is after that, maybe in March. Painting, staining, etc. There go the weekends.

Our new home is also 20 minutes farther from my work, so I’m losing an additional 40 minutes a day in commute time. On the one hand, that’s kind of laughable, since I was only 10-15 minutes away to begin with, and my 35 minute commute will seem miniscule to many road warriors. On the other hand, 40 additional lost minutes a day (and who wouldn’t hear the term ‘40 minutes’ and not think ‘an hour?) still adds up to more than 3 hours per week I’ve lost from my schedule. I try to make the best of that time, either in quiet contemplation when needed, or by listening to podcasts or Bible literature on my iPod, but still, its less time in my day for ‘doing’.

Water From a Stone…

Mostly I’m bringing this up, because those hours had to come from somewhere, and those of you who know me online might wonder where I’ve gone.

First I disappeared from my blog. Sure, I got a couple posts out, but let’s face it, you haven’t really heard from me in more than half a year other than a random post or two of some art I’ve done. Next I disappeared from our podcast. Bob did a stupendous job, but he carried the last several episodes without me. Finally, I pretty much disappeared from the social net as a whole. I’m not on Twitter, Facebook or even our Linked In group much these days. I keep thinking “I need to get to this”, but I haven’t really had time. In fact, I don’t even check my email every day anymore.

The only ‘personal’ activities I kept were running and reading. Everything else went out the window. I haven’t even found the time to go see Tron, and I’ve been looking forward to that for over a year. The bottom line is that as much as I enjoy these things, none of them stack up to Me and Mine.

Priorities vs. Goals

January is just coming to a close, and like you, I’ve heard a lot lately about New Year’s resolutions, setting goals and the like. I’ve also heard very little about considering priority. I’ve had lots of goals in my life. Some have gone away permanently. Some have been backburnered. Some have evolved along the way. Some still live at the forefront guiding daily decisions. However, no goal continues that doesn’t serve a priority, and for the past year, the only priorities I’ve had have been Me and Mine.

Looking Ahead

My family is my core, and I’m trying to stay healthy to take care of them. Me and Mine. These are my priorities. They are part of the foundation of my strength and what I strive to protect at every turn. The rest of this is all external. A home. A job. Business contacts. Recreation. Its outside of me. Its often fun. Much of it is useful. Some of it is even powerful. Its not core, though. They serve us, but they are not Me and Mine.

Things will likely turn around. In fact, its been said that the first year after a loss is the hardest as you work thru numerous annual events for the first time without you lost loved one. We’ve done them all at least once now, and I already see an easing in. This new home is cozier than the last one by far and carries far fewer memories and a potential for creating many new ones.
As time opens up, I will again decide where to put any extra time I may find. It may be back into this blog. It may be back into the podcast (there are several interviews I would still love to do). It may be back into something entirely new. I’ve recently discovered Mouse Guard, and after moving I’m rereading the many comic books I had stored away and remembering why I loved so many of them. Colleagues such as Chris Oatley and the crew from Art and Story keep me inspired on a regular basis. Something will happen soon, though I’m not sure yet what that will be.

What This Has to Do With You.

Maybe nothing. Maybe everything. Many, smarter people have gone thru this before me. Many more will go thru it after me. This is nothing special, remarkable or unique. But, I guess that’s the point. Whether its a lost loved one, or an illness, accident, or setback, everyone at some time has to regroup. When that happens, break it down to the basics; to your core. Never lose sight of that. Sometimes people get so invested in their projects, goals or aspirations that they lose sight of their core, and their decisions become divided as they try to save both. So, here’s a reminder: Its OK to shut down an entire project, even close the doors on your own company if that’s what its going to take to get you and yours thru it, whatever ‘it’ is. I’m not saying you HAVE to. Often you don’t, and obviously I can’t make that call for you, but when you see it yourself, you’ll know.

I’ll take care of Me and Mine, and know that I’ll understand when you take care of You and Yours.

My daughter decided to go with the definition of “the pervading tone or mood of a place, situation, or work of art” up a nice little sketch. Her theme was a “calm atmosphere”. A simple table, chair, book and a vase of flowers. It doesn’t get much calmer than that. Maybe there should be a cup of tea there too?

Esmaya

Finally, it hit me. What if there is NO atmosphere? Or rather, what if you couldn’t BREATHE the atmosphere? Then you’d have to change it, and that would take terraforming machinery. Giant industrial plants that break down local environmental resources, separate out the elements that we’d need to add, and then pump them out as gases in massive quantities until local, transplanted flora can take over gas conversion. So, here’s my actual entry piece. Its the domed design on the bottom two thirds of the page. Following this piece are several other concepts that I worked thru in the concepting process with some notes.

Page 3

Now, since terraformers don’t really exist, I had no photo reference, and that’s OK. Instead of going for a finished illustration this week, I chose to use the opportunity to do some concepting. I pulled out my trusty micron brush-tip and just started sketching. I only had a few hours in all, so I worked thru a half dozen or so designs. In the end, I had one that I really liked (page 3, above), and another that I thought might be strong, if I could combine a couple of the single-stack designs together.

Page 1

Page 2

page 5

Page 4

Stargazing-no color

Earlier in the project, I had worked on a number of concepts for Stargazing from ground-based observatories to space-based deep space telescope satellites. I even hit on the idea of a diver studying starfish. In the end, the more human connections of a kid on a roof with a telescope and a family laying in their back yard really stuck with me. The chosen image pulls together pieces of my own family’s experience as my wife and I took our daughter into the back yard and we lay on a blanket and watch the meteor showers.

Stargazing sketches on DeviantArt

Finally, my daughter joined me in this project and worked up her own concept of “stargazing” as the audience enjoys a performance by a famous dancer.

Stargazing – Esmaya

Anyway, Joss Whedon wrote the theme for his much loved but unfortunately short lived television series, Firefly. These are the words:

Take my love, take my land,
Take me to where I cannot stand.
I don’t care, I’m still free.
You can’t take the sky from me.

Take me out, to the black,
Tell them I’m not coming back.
Burn the land and boil the sea,
You can’t take the sky from me.

There’s no place I can be,
Since I’ve found Serenity.
You can’t take the sky from me.

The other day, I woke up with this song in my head from New Kids on the Block. It got me talking to a colleague at work, and I told him how I thought it was funny that I had seen a televised bit when they kicked off their comeback tour in 2008 on the Today Show. These guys had put on what really looked like their old show, but their audience had miraculously transformed from a bunch of screaming teenagers into screaming near-middle-aged women. Their act, however, looked like it was still geared to a fairly wholesome boy-band image who were used to performing in front of underage girls.

So, still chuckling it up. I jumped on YouTube just to see if I could find the Today Show snippet, and instead I came across footage from their actual tour. This was NOT the same performance I had seen on the Today Show. These guys were shaking their parts and strutting their stuff, and their backup dancers were wearing very shapely outfits. Some of their dance moves were also more adult in nature. It seems that once they realized that their audience was no longer a bunch of kids, they completely transformed their show to pander to a crowd of lovelorn 30-40 somethings with 20 year old crushes (and possibly to re-imagine their youth the way they would have liked to have lived it).

Experience it if you dare:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Evp1JMGehSw

If you’re too old (or too young) to have been (or have had a sister) completely in love with Donnie Wahlberg or one of the others, you can compare it to the original here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sUfWjD1k9MM

Anyway, after I got over the experience of watching these guys completely overhaul their act, I realized that, without getting into moral judgments, there’s a real lesson here in understanding your customers and delivering what they want. See, their fan base of teen-aged girls with wicked crushes and unrequited love and lust had grown into 30+ year old women with a lot more life experience. Also, because these women were now legally of age, they could stop censoring their act. They notice the differences and changed their show to fit the desires of their audience.

Markets change, technologies evolve, and clients mature. Are you taking notice to make sure that you are changing with them?

There’s also a lesson here in making sure that you make changes that you are comfortable with, but we’ll save that for another post.

—-

Hey, guys,

Here’s my Perfect Playlist.

Since 2000, the most important and most rewarding part of my life has been my daughter, Esmaya. Several years back, I started to save songs that most strongly reminded me of being a father and husband, and I keep them in iTunes in a playlist I call the Dadlist. Since I only grab the ones that really touch me, its been growing slowly. A lot of fluff could have made it, but I didn’t want to go that route. These are the best of the best to me. The cream of the crop in emotional heart-string tugging.

I’m not sure what I’ll eventually do with the list. When I became a parent, the idea of death really became important to me. Before, dying just didn’t matter the way it does now that I have people depending on me. So, I wanted to make sure I left something for my daughter to remember the way I feel about her in case something happens. On the other hand, she might get a copy when she leaves home in a few, short, 10 years or so, and I’ll just keep adding to it as we both get older so I can give her an updated list later on.

So, here’s the list.

1. George Strait – I Just Want to Dance with You.
2. Creed – With Arms Wide Open
3. Phil Collins – You’ll Be in My Heart
4. Gary Allan – Tough Little Boys
5. Randy Newman – You’ve Got a Friend in Me
6. Bob Carlisle – Butterfly Kisses
7. Lonestar – My Front Porch Looking In
8. Phil Vassar – Just Another Day in Paradise
9. Lee Ann Womack – I Hope You Dance
10. Heartland – I Loved Her First

And here are the explanations

1. This is the odd one in the bunch. Technically, its a man singing to his woman, but my wife doesn’t dance. Long before my daughter was born, I had thought to myself… “If I ever have a daughter, I’m going to pick her up and dance with her to this song.” So, its looks strange in this list, but is very special to my relationship with my daughter.
2. This is the way I felt when my wife told me she was pregnant. 8 months to think about things, and all I could do was be excited about the cool things I’d show her. In fact, I started reading MacAddict to her as a child. Showing her cool things and helping her experience new things is still a large part of our relationship.
3. Watching her grow is an exciting thing. The more she does, though, the less it seems she needs me, it seems. So, its a bittersweet feeling, knowing that she has the strength inside to explore more and more of this world, but knowing that doing so will eventually take her away from me. But she’ll always be in my heart, no matter where she roams.
4. This is me to a “t”. Want to scare the living daylights out of me? Tell me something is wrong with my girl. Want to see me struggle with meting out justice? Watch me have to discipline her. Want to watch me get really, uncharacteristically mad? Threaten her or treat her poorly, or even just influence her into doing something wrong.
5. This one is pretty self-explanatory. When things get tough, she can always count on dad. Whether for some muscle, some wisdom, a shoulder to cry on, or just a listening ear. And no matter how much it hurts either of us, I always try to teach her the right thing.
6. Growing up, you expect that your spouse will probably be your greatest love. Once you become a parent, though, you realize you were wrong. Everything from her is genuine and true. What have I done to deserve such a wonderful love in my life?
7. The guys often ask me out for a few drinks after work. I usually decline, saying “Its story time. My kid is going to be waiting for me.” Once someone added, “Well, they won’t mind if you go out once in a while, will they?” To which I realized, and responded, “This is my favorite part of every day. Sitting around with my wife and kid and reading stories.”
8. I don’t have to look all around the world for the most valuable things. I have them at home already.
   Life ain’t perfect, but with a happy home, it’s pretty good.
9. She’s growing up. I’m putting as much into her as I can. Encouraging her to be curious, to explore, to push her limits and experience the world. I want her to dance when she wants to, and not dance, only when she doesn’t feel like it. I want her to make the most of what her life will offer.
10. It seems silly, this song in the mix when my daughter is only 7, but it touched me from the first time I heard it. It resonates to me even now, though, every time she comes home enamored with a new teacher, or a new best friend. I’ll let them borrow her, but she’s my little girl, not theirs. That will always be true. Her husband had better remember that. (As a side note, 2 weeks ago, a friend of ours got married. She danced with her father to this song, and I almost – tho not quite – lost it. Just a bit misty, eyed is all.)

Pocahontas and my Daughter at Disney's Animal Kingdom

In January of 2009, I took my family to visit Disney World in Orlando, Florida. While there, we experienced something profound in the way that Disney treats its different fan bases.

See, my then eight year old daughter, had spent the better part of her years to that point loving and wanting to be a Disney Princess. Mostly she’s into Arial, probably because of that whole fish-tail thing, but in reality, all of the princesses rocked her adolescent world. Chances are, if you’ve dealt with a young daughter of your own, you know what I’m talking about. So, knowing this about my girl, I gathered as much information about Disney World and how to find princesses as I could. Turns out there this place called the Akershus Royal Banquet Hall at Epcot Center where you can dine with the princesses. Belle greets everyone coming in and takes photos with the kids, and then while you eat, Cinderella, Aurora, Jasmine, and yes, even Arial, come by one at a time to visit each table for photo opportunities. The only person missing is Snow White. You have to book your reservations well ahead of time, and at $35/head for adults, its a bit pricey, but KNOWING that my daughter would get to meet all but one of the princesses sealed the deal for me. I booked our brunch with the princesses for our second day there.

So, our first day at Disney World was a lot of fun. Nothing but great experiences and wonders. We got there about lunch time, wandered around the Magic Kingdom, rode rides, ate food, and caught the fireworks show at the end of the day. All in all, a great time was had.

The second day, knowing what our first real stop of the day would be, I suggested that my daughter wear her princess outfit. Not knowing what was up (did I mention it was a surprise?) she was hesitant, because at eight years of age, she was becoming self conscious of her public dress and grooming. Between encouragement from my wife and I however, she eventually put on her gown and tiara, and we were off.

This is where our entire experience shifted about ten degrees off-kilter from our first day.

We boarded the bus from our hotel, and as it pulled away from the stop, over the speakers ran the normal safety/destination/have a nice day rigmarole. Unlike the day before, however, today it finished with “Please, be on your best royal behavior. Today, we’re riding with a Disney Princess.” I shot a surprised glance to my wife who did the same to me, then we both watched our daughter who seemed unfazed. Then after a few seconds, it registered and she looked up at us wide-eyed. “Was he talking about ME?” We both gave her our “I think so” shrugs and faces and we drove on. Everywhere we went after that, every cast member referred to our daughter as “Princess”, many actually stopping what they were doing to take the time to say hello. “Hello, Princess, can I get you something?” “Hello, Princess, are you having a nice day?” “Hello, Princess, you seem to be running out of Pixie Dust, can I get you some more?” (Out comes the wand that sprinkles glitter all over her head and shoulders).

Encouraged by that day’s events, she chose to dress up like a princess for most of the rest of the stay. After all, its not like at home where princesses might get strange glances. At Disney World, princesses were the ‘it’ girls of the land. In fact, grandpa had given her a coffee can of coins before we left, and it added up to about $90, which she was allowed to spend on anything she wanted. I had made sure to reserve a session at the Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique on our third day for her Princess Makeover, and, feeling more like a princess than ever, she purchased a full-ensemble Jasmine outfit. From then, on, it wasn’t ‘Princess’ anymore, it was ‘Princess Jasmine’ from the cast members.

And don’t think it was just simple pleasantries, either. She got preferential treatment everywhere we went. Late on the fourth day, wandering around the Animal Kingdom, I turned a corner to see a meet-and-greet line with Pocahontas. Not a princess, but still, up there in my daughter’s ‘would like to meet’ list. As her handler saw me, he said (as he’d probably been saying for the past 5 minutes) “sorry folks, Pocahontas is finished for the day.” I then recognized that there was no one in her line and that she had just finished taking a photo with her last customer. OK, I thought. Too, bad, but nothing to be done about it. Then, probably a full 15 seconds later, my daughter, with her aunts, rounded the corner of the trail dressed in her full Jasmine ensemble. My daughter, realizing what she’d just missed, looked after Pocahontas for a moment, and the handler, who was just turning to follow Pocahontas down a ‘cast members only’ side trail, stopped mid stride, turned back and said loud enough for my daughter to hear, “Your Highness! I’m SO SORRY! I didn’t see you! Pocahontas! Come back, we have a royal visitor!” Pocahontas returned, my daughter got her photo, the rest of the visitors were turned away, and again Pocahontas and her handler headed back down their trail.

Special service? In front of other visitors? You betcha. Being a Princess at Disney World is the fast track to VIP treatment. A ‘members only’ club experience right out of the gate.

This would have impressed me, anyway, but having just finished reading Seth Godin’s Tribes: We Need You to Lead Us, I was amazed to watch as Disney very simply and elegantly added the newest member to their Tribe and made her a fan for life. I have no doubt that she will eventually outgrow her enamor of the Princesses. She already dresses up less and less. However, I have no doubt that based on her experiences, she’ll remain a Disney fan for life, and based on the way I saw them making her feel, they’ve actually made two. She’s in the Tribe of Disney Princesses now, and all it cost her was the guts to wear her outfit.

So, back to business. Is there something you can do to mimic this in your own business? Something small, but special, that would make your current customers or clients feel like they’re on the ‘inside’? Something that would reward your best clients, or maybe turn your average clients into your best clients? Simple things like adding someone who filled out a survey for your to a ‘discount list’, or ‘mailing list only’ specials to subscribers of your mailing list? Those are really basic, but can you grow it from there? What if your mailing list subscribers got an unpublished automatic ‘rush’ service when they placed an order? Or upgraded to overnight delivery? If you’re running a local business, maybe they get invited to a private after-dinner party?

What you can do, will obviously depend on your business and your clients, but if you look hard enough, you can certainly do something. After all, when you break down the whole Disney Princess experience it’s this:

1. Call every little girl in a princess outfit “Princess.”
2. If you see a little girl in a princess outfit, bump it up a notch.

Now, how hard was that?