Pocahontas and my Daughter at Disney's Animal Kingdom

In January of 2009, I took my family to visit Disney World in Orlando, Florida. While there, we experienced something profound in the way that Disney treats its different fan bases.

See, my then eight year old daughter, had spent the better part of her years to that point loving and wanting to be a Disney Princess. Mostly she’s into Arial, probably because of that whole fish-tail thing, but in reality, all of the princesses rocked her adolescent world. Chances are, if you’ve dealt with a young daughter of your own, you know what I’m talking about. So, knowing this about my girl, I gathered as much information about Disney World and how to find princesses as I could. Turns out there this place called the Akershus Royal Banquet Hall at Epcot Center where you can dine with the princesses. Belle greets everyone coming in and takes photos with the kids, and then while you eat, Cinderella, Aurora, Jasmine, and yes, even Arial, come by one at a time to visit each table for photo opportunities. The only person missing is Snow White. You have to book your reservations well ahead of time, and at $35/head for adults, its a bit pricey, but KNOWING that my daughter would get to meet all but one of the princesses sealed the deal for me. I booked our brunch with the princesses for our second day there.

So, our first day at Disney World was a lot of fun. Nothing but great experiences and wonders. We got there about lunch time, wandered around the Magic Kingdom, rode rides, ate food, and caught the fireworks show at the end of the day. All in all, a great time was had.

The second day, knowing what our first real stop of the day would be, I suggested that my daughter wear her princess outfit. Not knowing what was up (did I mention it was a surprise?) she was hesitant, because at eight years of age, she was becoming self conscious of her public dress and grooming. Between encouragement from my wife and I however, she eventually put on her gown and tiara, and we were off.

This is where our entire experience shifted about ten degrees off-kilter from our first day.

We boarded the bus from our hotel, and as it pulled away from the stop, over the speakers ran the normal safety/destination/have a nice day rigmarole. Unlike the day before, however, today it finished with “Please, be on your best royal behavior. Today, we’re riding with a Disney Princess.” I shot a surprised glance to my wife who did the same to me, then we both watched our daughter who seemed unfazed. Then after a few seconds, it registered and she looked up at us wide-eyed. “Was he talking about ME?” We both gave her our “I think so” shrugs and faces and we drove on. Everywhere we went after that, every cast member referred to our daughter as “Princess”, many actually stopping what they were doing to take the time to say hello. “Hello, Princess, can I get you something?” “Hello, Princess, are you having a nice day?” “Hello, Princess, you seem to be running out of Pixie Dust, can I get you some more?” (Out comes the wand that sprinkles glitter all over her head and shoulders).

Encouraged by that day’s events, she chose to dress up like a princess for most of the rest of the stay. After all, its not like at home where princesses might get strange glances. At Disney World, princesses were the ‘it’ girls of the land. In fact, grandpa had given her a coffee can of coins before we left, and it added up to about $90, which she was allowed to spend on anything she wanted. I had made sure to reserve a session at the Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique on our third day for her Princess Makeover, and, feeling more like a princess than ever, she purchased a full-ensemble Jasmine outfit. From then, on, it wasn’t ‘Princess’ anymore, it was ‘Princess Jasmine’ from the cast members.

And don’t think it was just simple pleasantries, either. She got preferential treatment everywhere we went. Late on the fourth day, wandering around the Animal Kingdom, I turned a corner to see a meet-and-greet line with Pocahontas. Not a princess, but still, up there in my daughter’s ‘would like to meet’ list. As her handler saw me, he said (as he’d probably been saying for the past 5 minutes) “sorry folks, Pocahontas is finished for the day.” I then recognized that there was no one in her line and that she had just finished taking a photo with her last customer. OK, I thought. Too, bad, but nothing to be done about it. Then, probably a full 15 seconds later, my daughter, with her aunts, rounded the corner of the trail dressed in her full Jasmine ensemble. My daughter, realizing what she’d just missed, looked after Pocahontas for a moment, and the handler, who was just turning to follow Pocahontas down a ‘cast members only’ side trail, stopped mid stride, turned back and said loud enough for my daughter to hear, “Your Highness! I’m SO SORRY! I didn’t see you! Pocahontas! Come back, we have a royal visitor!” Pocahontas returned, my daughter got her photo, the rest of the visitors were turned away, and again Pocahontas and her handler headed back down their trail.

Special service? In front of other visitors? You betcha. Being a Princess at Disney World is the fast track to VIP treatment. A ‘members only’ club experience right out of the gate.

This would have impressed me, anyway, but having just finished reading Seth Godin’s Tribes: We Need You to Lead Us, I was amazed to watch as Disney very simply and elegantly added the newest member to their Tribe and made her a fan for life. I have no doubt that she will eventually outgrow her enamor of the Princesses. She already dresses up less and less. However, I have no doubt that based on her experiences, she’ll remain a Disney fan for life, and based on the way I saw them making her feel, they’ve actually made two. She’s in the Tribe of Disney Princesses now, and all it cost her was the guts to wear her outfit.

So, back to business. Is there something you can do to mimic this in your own business? Something small, but special, that would make your current customers or clients feel like they’re on the ‘inside’? Something that would reward your best clients, or maybe turn your average clients into your best clients? Simple things like adding someone who filled out a survey for your to a ‘discount list’, or ‘mailing list only’ specials to subscribers of your mailing list? Those are really basic, but can you grow it from there? What if your mailing list subscribers got an unpublished automatic ‘rush’ service when they placed an order? Or upgraded to overnight delivery? If you’re running a local business, maybe they get invited to a private after-dinner party?

What you can do, will obviously depend on your business and your clients, but if you look hard enough, you can certainly do something. After all, when you break down the whole Disney Princess experience it’s this:

1. Call every little girl in a princess outfit “Princess.”
2. If you see a little girl in a princess outfit, bump it up a notch.

Now, how hard was that?

What David meant by this was simple; as a project passes through your hands, regardless of your job, regardless of your pay, when it hits your hands, do the best you can with it, and make sure it leaves your hands in better shape than when you received it. Its an amazingly simple philosophy that when practiced, yields results that are a wonder to behold. When everybody just does their ‘job’, a project can go from beginning to end and come out pretty much the way everyone expected it to, but when every person who touches the project takes time to engage with it, to look for ways to improve it or make it even a little bit better, the final product is often far more than anyone could have planned for.

Recently, I’ve been reading a book called Linchpin by Seth Godin, which I HIGHLY recommend. He talks about this exact process, which he terms ‘creating art’ or ‘giving a gift’. When a person steps outside of what is expected of him and does the best he can regardless of his role, that person becomes an artist, and what he creates is a gift of art, and that such giving is the basis for creating tribes around yourself. Seth also makes the argument that the receivers of such gifts tend to want to return the favor, and that artists, because of their art and their gifts, have more opportunities open up before them than someone who selfishly hordes their art.

Today, during a team meeting, we had a surprise visit from a colleague of mine from another team. One of her roles in the Creative department is roughly, Keeper of the Brand. She and a few others work hard to make sure that the ESPN brand and its many imprints are maintained and handled aright across the company and in all forms of media, which is a BIG task. I, on the other hand, am one of less than a handful of creatives that work within the ESD branch of the Technology division. I stick out like a sore thumb amongst a throng of programmers, engineers and other techy types. Over the past couple of years, however, I’ve been pushing hard to make sure that the creative our web teams produce is in harmony with what the teams in NY and the main campus create. Its not something I was asked to do, its simply something that someone from a background like mine understands is important, and its one of the ways that I endeavor to add value at my level.

As I was saying, today she showed up unexpectedly (to me, anyway) at our team meeting, and presented me with an ESPN Game Ball. There are 21 game balls in all, and it passes from one person to the next roughly once per month. It is given by the previous recipient to someone who they felt has gone above and beyond. I’ve watched these game balls passing around the company for about the last year, and never thought one would make it into my hands. Now one has. Its a real honor, and now that its been given to me, I can’t think of someone I’d rather have received it from. Today, it was blindingly obvious to me, that this theory of giving gifts unselfishly and having it returned toyou is actually a reality. Its not the first time that what I’ve given has come back to me, but right now, this evening, which a brand new game ball sitting on top of my cubicle, its certainly a topic that’s on my mind.

So, create your art, whatever it is you do. Add value at every level. Explore and expand what you do, and help your team envision beyond what they currently do. Do more than is asked or expected of you, and most importantly, do it freely without expectation of compensation. It will be noticed, and you’ll be recognized as a Linchpin.

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

When we got to the 7th Habit, we broke the room into 4 groups and each group had to come up with ideas on how or where we could find ways to continue to progress in our area. My group, of course, had Mental as our topic. This is the list of ideas we came up with. After class, I wrote them up and emailed them to the entire group so that the others could follow up on them if they wanted to.

Going through my inbox today, I realized that some of you might benefit from this list as well, since having a sharp, fresh mind is one way to really keep us creative and alert to possibilities.

—

TED: Ideas Worth Spreading – http://www.ted.com/
These talks were all recorded from TED conferences from around the world. The topics cover all areas of human life, from Technology and Science to Entertainment, Art and Design to Business and Global Issues. These talks are given by people you know and have great reputations in their fields. Politicians, authors, scientists, CEOs, and the like. Most of these talks are NOT industry or vocational in nature; they generally take high-level thinking from their field and apply its impact to the world scene and our every day lives. I don’t believe I’ve heard a ‘bad’ TED talk yet (or maybe the bad ones never make it to their website . Many of these videos are posted on their site. There are also several iPhone apps that will allow you to stream content directly to your iPhone.

Big Ideas Video – http://www.tvo.org/TVOsites/WebObjects/TvoMicrosite.woa?bigideas
Big Ideas Video Feed – http://feeds.tvo.org/tvobigideasVideo
Like TED, this video series features a number of talks on various topics from many different speakers, each a recognized leader in their field, and making application to current or future trends.

Seth Godin’s Blog – http://sethgodin.typepad.com/
Seth (who is also a TED speaker) is the author of a number of bestselling books about critical thinking. Because he tends to apply these thoughts to marketing and business, this is where you will generally find them in the book store, but in reality, the principles in many of his books can be applied to everyone’s every day lives. His blog offers a daily thought of the kind that keeps you thinking far outside of the box. Jim and I highly recommend it.

Podcasts
If you’re like me and enjoy (and are able) to listen to audio while you work or exercise, I recommend trying audio podcasts. There are video podcasts as well, but unless they are really good, like the TED talks, I generally don’t have time for watching.

There are podcasts that cover just about every topic. Some are amateur (like mine), some are VERY amateur (ouch), and some of professional (even Disney & ESPN release both recycled and original content in podcast format). Podcasts can be downloaded to your MP3 player of choice or listened to directly from your computer. To see what is out there, I recommend using the iTunes application which has an extensive directory as well as offers ease of use.

If you just want to start with fan-voted best of the best, check out the winners from this year at:
http://www.podcastawards.com/

Other directories can be found online and include:
http://podcastpickle.com/
http://podcastalley.com/
http://podcastdirectory.com/

This past month has been a rough time for my family. My wife lost her mother, and her sister was put in the hospital when this man entered their Florida-based home office and shot all four people on the premises. My mother-in-law, Kathryn Kalisz (Kitty), was shot dead in front of Manessa, who in turn took what appears to have been 6 bullets herself. As the person who had gotten him in trouble, there seems little doubt that he never intended her to get up again, but she’s a tough kid and after 3 weeks in the hospital is recovering well, though she and her fiance have lost their unborn child.

Besides Kitty and her daughter, he also shot and killed the office manager, Deborah Tillotson, and injured a relatively new employee, Amy Wilson, (whom we are happy to have been told has been released from the hospital). He then fled down the highway where he was finally stopped in a shoot out with police that cost the life of Sheriff’s Captain, Chad Reed. Fortunately, Kitty’s middle daughter had left early for an appointment that day and escaped physically unharmed.

If you heard anything about this story, it was probably in relation to the slain police officer. With tens of thousands dead in Haiti, this event was a relatively minor story, and rightly so. What happened in Haiti is a tragedy on a scale I’m sure that I can’t quite imagine. Understand that I don’t want to take anything away from that, but you should know that in the life of my own family, Haiti was a distant cry compared to what was happening around us. In fact, when the news was first reported to us, we were told that Kitty and both sisters, my wife’s entire family, had been shot and killed. So in truth, as first the news that Manessa was alive but in critical condition in the hospital, and later that Suzie was safe, was revealed to us, it can honestly be said that news got better as the evening wore on.

Kathryn was my mother-in-law. She was an artist and an internationally acclaimed color expert. Color expert. What does that even mean? Its hard to explain in a sentence, but she knew all about color from an artistic and scientific point of view. I doubt there are more than a dozen people alive who could match her knowledge of color and how it worked. Only a small fraction of her knowledge is in her book, Understanding Your Color. I had always joked that she’d forgotten more about color than I would ever know. About 11 years ago Kitty started crafting the pieces for her own business based on color and its application to life and health. She worked it every day for about 2 years, self-publishing her own book, manufacturing her own products in her basement, developing her own curriculum and teaching her courses herself. Once everything was developed, she then launched her business in earnest under the name Sci\ART. Over time her business began growing. It has become one of the most respected names in its industry, and has the most color-accurate products offered in the field of color analysis. As of January this year, she still manufactured her own products in her home, but she had the help of 4 employees (two were her daughters) and has certified trainers on 4 continents teaching her curriculum to students all around the world.

In fact, Bob Ostrom and I were slated to travel to Florida this February to pick up some training from her on color mixing and matching, and we were going to start teaching classes for her ourselves. Its odd, but even though most of the illustrations in her book were mine, even though her websites have all been designed by me, even though much of her marketing materials were my design and I helped her put together her swatchbook designs, my schedule never allowed me to attend any of her classes. After 8 years of supporting her business and her teaching, I honestly can’t believe I had never made the time to actually sit through a weekend course, since I’d always wanted to. I’ve been told there are taped sessions. I hope I can get hold of a copy of them someday soon.

As great a loss to our family as she was, it just doesn’t stop there. The business was the sole source of income for both of my wife’s sisters. When you stop to think about it, you realize that a sizable portion of company was put out of commission that day. Scores, if not hundreds, of businesses depend on the products that Sci\ART manufactures so that they can do business, and the one person who knew every detail of the business is gone. Suzanna Grief, the middle daughter, is working hard to keep Sci\ART going and to completely wrap her head around the intricacies of the business. Even so, with all of the accounts and records in Kitty’s name and the legal red tape Suzie is dealing with right now, it will be a while before things will be completely back ‘on track’. We have full faith that she can do it, but to her credit, she’s doing it without having had a pay-day in over 3 weeks.

Even if Manessa could get paid to work right now, she still couldn’t work, and most likely won’t be able to for a while longer. She’ll be held up in the hospital for several more weeks, recovering for a time, and then will still face at least one more very serious surgery in late spring with another few months of recovery after that. True enough, while in the hospital her own needs are more or less being met, but she has a horse, which is apparently a bit more expensive to keep than my cat, and other expenses that need to be met. We are praying for a full recovery for Manessa in time. Also, we hope that since he’s facing 3 murder charges in a state with the death penalty, Manessa will never have to fear her attacker again. Through it all, its possible that the darkest chapter of this ordeal is actually behind her.

As for me, my wife has been gone 3 weeks now, tending to her sister in the hospital. Now that Manessa has been moved to rehab, which is apparently hospital code for ‘its time for the patient to learn to take care of herself’, my wife will be returning home to my daughter and I this weekend. We can’t wait to see her.

A few donations from other family members that have come in have helped to offset the costs these two are facing for now, but will most likely not be enough to get them through to the end. They are accepting donations at their mother’s memorial site (link at the bottom).

Bob would tell me that I don’t need to apologize to anyone, and I suppose that really I don’t, but I certainly want to, especially those of you who have stuck with me over the years. I know you haven’t heard from me in almost a month, and certainly not regularly. I had just started to blog regularly and Bob and I had just gotten our podcast back onto a somewhat regular twice-monthly schedule. Now, not only have those been affected, but you probably haven’t seen me much, if at all on Twitter, Facebook or any other sites lately. With all that has happened, and with my wife across the country tending to her sister, I’ve been holding down the day job, running my wife’s business when needed, doing all of the ‘at home’ stuff (shopping, cleaning, laundry, etc.) and devoting the rest of my free time to taking care of my little girl who has cried herself to sleep the majority of the evenings; I’ve just been trying to be there for her while keeping her routine going. She grew up in Grandma’s house, her aunt Nessa is really more of a big sister to her, and mom isn’t here. And she got a cold the first week out (refer to the ‘mom isn’t here’ part for impact on that news).

I’d like to take a moment to praise my team at ESPN as well. I don’t know if this applies to the entire company, or even to the entire Disney family of companies, but MY TEAM at ESPN has been very supportive and helpful. Even to the point of my working slightly shortened but very focused days so that I didn’t have to hire a sitter to stay with my girl after school let out. These guys rock. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, I couldn’t ask to work with a better group of folks.

So, again, for basically disappearing on you guys, I’d like to apologize. I know with certainty that you will understand, but really, I should have at least given you a reason. Anyway, my schedule has been so tight that not even Bob has been able to really get any of my attention, so if that’s any indication, you know I’ve just dropped off the face of the earth. I wish I could say it was over, but chances are Louanna and I will be distracted for a little while to come between probate, helping Suzie where we can, and when Manessa gets out of the hospital, we’ll be scraping up funds for tickets and flying down for funeral services. However, Bob and I have lined up interviews with the ever-determined Dani Jones and an old buddy of our, Dan Thompson, so even if our Twitter episode gets put off a few weeks, we won’t be leaving you completely hanging.

One more thing I feel really bad about is my preview copy of Seth Godin’s Linchpin. I had received it early with the stipulation with my own hope that I would blog about it, good or bad, before the launch date (Seth wrote to me and corrected my thinking that blogging about it was not part of the agreement, only that I read it). As you probably read from my previous article which was actually posted the day all of this happened, I was well underway with the book. Since then, I’ve continued to pick at it, and I can tell you its really good so far, but I have yet to finish it. Go pick it up. Read it. If you’re the kind of person who finds our podcast useful, then this book was written just for you. I’ll publish my final review of it soon, and I hope that Seth is OK with the fact that I dropped the ball on this entirely.

If you’re interested in reading some of Kitty’s writing, you can find her blog here:
http://blog.coloranalysis.com/

or her book (highly recommended for any artist, but I’m not sure how quickly copies are shipping at this time) here:
http://www.coloranalysis.com/category_s/114.htm
If you’re an artist, skip the client edition and go for the full version. Its written with color analysts in mind, but really, isn’t ever artist a ‘color analyst’ in one form or another?

A small memorial site has been put up here:
http://kathrynleekalisz.com/
and if you’re in a position to help the sisters out a bit, you can make a small online donation as well.

and a tribute from her first student, Maytee Garza:
http://www.revealstyleconsultancy.com/2010/01/kathryn-kalisz-donovanpublished-by-mayte-garza/

There are stories all over the web, but one that has done a decent job of putting together the information without massacring too many of the facts or dwelling too heavily on sensationalism is here:
http://bristolpress.com/articles/2010/01/16/news/doc4b527e48b0429850310794.txt

See, I stopped freelancing almost 4 years ago because I realized my business wasn’t going in a direction that made me happy, and reading Michael Gerber’s book, The E-Myth Revisited, had pretty much showed me why (I swear that book was written just for me). The E-Myth also laid out a very solid foundation for designing and starting your own business. I just needed some time to think and regroup, so I shut down my time-sucking (60+ hours per week) ‘business’ and took a ‘day job’, where I could show up from 8-5 and then go home and think about and build whatever I wanted, NOT worry about clients.

Now, I don’t know if anyone else has noticed, but from my cubicle over the past 4 years, I’ve watched the entire world change. There have been hints and foreshadowing for decades, what with outsourcing of first menial, and then later, highly sophisticated tech jobs; with factories in industrialized nations closing and new ones opening in developing nations; with “health” vacations to India and Thailand becoming more and more common; yes, hints and foreshadowing that much of what we had built, systematized, and standardized was now going to someone other than ourselves. This factory-based system that worked for so long just seems to have stopped working for any but the most rich and the most poor. The rest of us in the middle have been forgotten.

Its not that the systems from Michael Gerber’s E-Myth in and of themselves aren’t a good idea (in fact, I regularly create systems for lots of things, including my personal life, to help smooth things along), but the entire world has been so systematized and outsourced, that our ability to actually participate in these systems seems to be disappearing at a rapid rate.

This seems to be where Seth’s book steps in. Where Gerber’s book looks at the world from an old-system business owner who seeks to standardize the entire business and where the workers in a business are all interchangeable, Seth’s book is looking at our emerging era where the owners (us) actually own our own factories ($500 for a new PC, or $2000 for a new Mac?!?). Where we stop fitting ourselves into the standardized cogs of old-style business and start recreating ourselves as unique, indispensable artists.

The thing we need to realize is that we can’t afford to be compliant laborers anymore, because companies can no longer afford to hire employees who are simply good at their jobs. As Seth writes in his book, “The compliant masses don’t help so much when you don’t know what to do next.” Companies have no idea where to go from here, and a worker who simply shows up is becoming a waste of space. The world we all operated in 10, even 5 years ago is disappearing rapidly, and what we all need are thinkers and creative problem solvers to help find a new direction. And smart companies will pay for it, whether as an employee or a consultant.

I believe that this book will speak directly to most of the listeners of Creative Independence simply because doing things on our own is in our very nature; its in our core. This book is written in such a way to speak to those of us who are part of a new, emerging class of people; those who both own and are the key employees of our own businesses. Check it out when you get a chance. I’ll update more as I finish up this book.

You can pre-order your copy from Amazon by clicking here (affiliate link): Linchpin: Are You Indispensable?